Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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