remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
