ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was CRYING into my vagina
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
