He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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