dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
