Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
