My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
