I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
