this just has baby written all over it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
