Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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