so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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