The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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