he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
