My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize