Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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