it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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