Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
