No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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