I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize