I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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