very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize