No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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