Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
