Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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