My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
