It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
