the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
