There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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