So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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