Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
