you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize