I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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