it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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