The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
