I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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