He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
