where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
