I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
