You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
