I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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