I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
