im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
