I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
foreskin is a definite game changer
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
