I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
