well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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