I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
