I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
