nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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