Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
