Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
