i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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