I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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