New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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