I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
