I am puke
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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