Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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