Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
