Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
