I have demons in me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
