good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
