i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
