Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
